Hmm... Been a minute

Published on 24 August 2024 at 11:52

Well, it's been a minute 

G arrived and mostly settled in... He insists on sleeping on the couch, despite my objections and offers to find alternatives. If N isn't worried about her father, I guess I shouldn't be either... It's hard, it's not how I was raised... He's over 60 and shouldn't have to sleep on a couch. 

As for me.... My amazing psychiatrist adjusted my meds and they kicking in, and... It's helping this time.... Maybe we finally got it right? It's not that the pills make me happy, tbh I've given up on feeling that anytime soon - if ever.

It's more that the pills give me a buffer zone... When I crash, that buffer absorbs some of it, and it makes it so much easier for me to tolerate and deal with. When it works, the difference is truly astounding.

I saw when... Because... Often you reach that point and for one reason or another it's snatched away... Gone as quickly as it came. Sometimes it may simply lose effectiveness, the body adjusts and you either need to up dosage, or try something else! Everyone is different, never more apparent than dealing with chemicals of the brain.

As expected, N is gone even more now that G is here... We are moving swiftly towards divorce now... She wants me gone... To her, I am the bane of her existence. Everything wrong in her life, she is able to trace back to me.

Money is beyond tight... Behind on almost every major bill.. groceries weekly send my bank account negative.. it's hard, but we are making it!

And even with that, N thinks she needs an apartment of her own.... "Her own space" she calls it... And she expects me to pay for it. 

Regardless, it is what it is, one baby step - one step - one foot - one yard - one mile at a time. I'll make it

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